Another destination.

Well, I made a new blogspot. Mostly because on this account, I'm following all those book review blogs and so my little dashboard gets way too cluttered. So yeah, follow the new one! :)

http://michellekuo.blogspot.com

And of course, my Tumblr:
http://michellekuo.tumblr.com

It's not like I'm invincible.

I’m not some special individual that is able to dust off any attacks thrown at me, acting like nothing can phase me. I can hurt just as much as the next person. So before calling me “weak” for feeling the pain, just remember that I’m merely using the emotions I was born with.

Get Away.

I want to put my mind at ease. I want a place where I can stop caring. Life is going by too quickly and is becoming such a blur, but I want to savor it, and enjoy every little moment. Time doesn’t allow me to do that, it only makes me feel pressured to get things done. Paradise at the moment would just be for me to lie down, enjoy some sunlight with a book in hand. As the sun rays put some welcoming warmth on my currently cold body, a special someone would massage my physical and mental soreness away. Life just needs to stand still and leave me be.

So cold.

I need to update this thing more. But ugh I have so much to do this month! I feel like my life is a blur and I'm just trying to not drown. I WANT to enjoy all the moments, I WANT to succeed. But it's so hard when every fucking things decides to come at me at once. And at this moment, I'm REALLY cold and I'm not exactly sure why. It's random moments like these where I wish I just had somewhere to escape to, where my mind could be at peace. And oh my gosh bleh my coldness is getting in the way of my thoughts hahaha. I'm even wearing sweats! And yet my hands are freezing. When I'm this cold I want to cuddle with someone :D hahaha I always see people on Tumblr write about that and I guess it's true, even though I haven't been in a relationship or anything. It's not like I'll go out of my way to go and find a boyfriend just so I have someone to cuddle with, but my gosh I'M ALWAYS COLD. Body warmth would be nice =____= But just as a personal heater hahaha. I totally forgot what my original thought was, shoot I side-tracked myself, so lame. Whatever, need to work on AP Euro. Bye!

Mind Clutter.

I really want to write about the New Year. I want to reminisce on all the fun, depressing, stressful memories that I've lived throughout 2009. It's like I don't even know where to start... I already wrote two very long responses to Jack's questions on Formspring, and it made my brain work pretty hard because I didn't really know how to answer them at first. They really made me think, and I like questions like that. Then I also wrote about an Ignorant Guy who doesn't seem to realize the harm and confusion he's causing by not talking to the girl that loves him and such. I wrote about why I'm glad I have high standards. I wrote about so many topics that have been occupying my mind that I finally found the words for. But it drained my brain of the right words, even though it's still full of ideas. I don't really know what I should be doing now, because I really can't organize all my thoughts about 2009 and all the people this year that I'm so thankful for. They've been such influential parts of my life that so many ideas pop up in my head when I think about it. My brain really can't handle this... It's too much for one night.

In all honesty, I would love to have a guy I could cuddle with.

Nov. 27, 2009.

As much as I front that I don't need a man, I love being independent, etc., I have to admit the idea of having a guy is very appealing. Someone to cuddle with and hug while watching a movie. Someone to send good morning and good night text messages. A guy to say anything to. All of that typical cheesy stuff. But especially the cuddling part, that sounds very nice to me right now haha. Maybe it's just because I'm cold though.

I still have plenty of fun being single though :D

Jordan has really been annoying me as of late.

My brother has really been starting to irritate me. It's weird because I usually consider him supportive of what I do and nice and everything, but lately I feel like he has been such a jerk. He knows I have bad sleeping habits but he shouldn't look down on me for not getting much sleep. And he's becoming just like my mom, ridiculing me for having naps later at night. I know naps at 10 or 11pm aren't ideal but naps are naps, right? If I just want to sleep for only a half hour nap anyways, it shouldn't really matter what time I take it. Not only that, but he even tells MOM about my bad sleeping habits. This REALLY bugs me, because I'm still dealing with everything--school, church, dance..--perfectly fine even with my lack of sleep, why get her involved in this? Because she's twisting everything she hears from my brother and puts it against me, and keeps giving me lectures. SERIOUSLY. My brother should know better than to say that kind of stuff to my mom, because it's only adding more stress to my day. I don't go to my mom telling her about how my brother has skipped class a couple times this school year or how he sleeps at 3am each night too.

Damnit, I don't know, he is just really aggravating me. Like just now, he suddenly pokes his head in my room cause the lights are on, and says, "You're STILL up?" I tell him, "No, I slept at midnight and just now I got up because I remembered I need to send myself something for school." Then he starts shaking his head, as if in disappointment. I'm just like WTF you should be happy I slept at midnight, eff you. I didn't mean to wake up 2:30am, it just happened. Don't look like you're belittling me just because I need to sleep more at night. As a matter of fact, this past week I've BEEN sleeping earlier, but I don't think you or mom ever see that or acknowledge that because you guys always look at my room in the wrong time (like just now when you happen to look in my room the 10 minutes I'm awake from my sleep). UGH.